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I have gone to the movie “The Shack” twice now. Both times it moved me in such a powerful way. I have not been able to get it off my mind and have found myself googling the famous quotes many times. But I have not been able to put into words myself the impact this movie had on me. Until I read this blog. Sarah has been able to go inside my heart and put into words what I could only express in tears. So please everyone read this blog and watch this video. It’s so powerful for those who have lost loved ones.

Heaven Knows - Journey Through Divorce

So while I was stateside my mom, sister, niece and myself went and saw the movie “The Shack”. I had read the book a few years ago, and really loved the way it just portrayed God’s love for us. I know this book/movie can be quite controversial among the Christian community, but I tend to not look too terribly deep into some of those things. Maybe that’s a fault that I have, but I tend to focus on what I feel like the Lord is showing me and let the rest go. (So this isn’t a pro or con review of the book/movie…..you be your own judge on that one.)

I knew this movie might be a bit of a hard watch given the fact that we had just lost dad and we’re still very much in the heavy grieving stage. I explained some of the plot line to my mom and she said she still wanted to see it. (Ya’ll it had been over 20 years since my mom saw a movie in the theater…..she was excited! :) ha!)

There were many really beautiful scenes in the movie, but one really touched all of us and left us holding each others hands. In the movie there is a scene where Mack is shown his daughter Missy in Heaven. She’s playing in a beautiful field of wildflowers with other children and Jesus. She doesn’t see her daddy, but knows he’s there and she smiles and waves and runs back to playing. Mack stands with his hands over her his heart and tears streaming down his face. He knows Missy’s happy and at Home and he’s filled with peace.

After losing my dad, there was one moment where I was almost begging God to just give me a little glimpse into what my dad was doing. It was as though I NEEDED to see him one last time. Even though my heart was totally at peace, my heart was also deeply missing my dad and well, I was curious. Was he eating? Was he building something? Was he lounging back and having a good long conversation with my grandparents?

I think when we lose someone, it makes Heaven seem so much more real.

Like that song that Piper likes to sing that says, “Heaven is a wonderful place. Filled with Glory and Grace. I wanna see my Savior’s face cause Heaven is a wonderful place….I wanna go there…”

Oh Lord….I can’t imagine how wonderful of a place Heaven is….can you just show me?

But…back to the movie for a moment…..

Watching that scene with Mack, I think all four of our hearts felt something in that moment. It was as though the Lord was saying to me, “Sarah, I know you want to see, but just like this scene of Missy and Mack, you’re daddy is just fine. He’s having fun. He’s pain free. And he still smiles at the thought of you.”

The beauty of the scene and the peace that washed over my heart really healed me.

Of course I still would love to just get a sneak peek into what my dad is doing, but until it’s my time to go Home, I’ll just wait in wonder and know that my earthly mind probably can’t even comprehend Heaven’s greatness. Like I told Andrew….”When Jesus comes, I hope I just go running towards Him…….take me to my daddy, Father!!”

A few months before the movie came out, I heard this song by Hillsong United called “Heaven Knows”. Since I am back on African slow internet, I’ll let you Google the song, or maybe our Bravester Admins can insert it in….thanks John!), but it’s so beautiful. I smiled when I saw it was on the actual soundtrack to the movie!

Heaven Knows, by Hillsong United

Hold my heart, don’t let it bleed no more
Sometimes forgiveness is like a man at war
God only knows why love is worth the fall
Maybe that’s what makes it love
Maybe that’s what makes it love

I can hear it now, the everlasting sound
Roaring like a lion deep within me
I won’t hold it long, I wasn’t made that strong
Sweet surrender, hold my heart and not let go
I’m letting go

And Heaven knows
I love you so

Hold my heart, don’t let it break like fear
Sometimes a moment feels like a thousand years
God only knows why love is drenched in tears
Maybe that’s what makes it love
Maybe that’s what makes it love

I can hear it now, the everlasting sound
Roaring like a lion deep within me
I won’t hold it long, I wasn’t made that strong
Sweet surrender, hold my heart and not let go
I’m letting go
And Heaven knows
I love you so

(How great Your love is)
(How great Your love is)
Then sings my soul
Then sings my soul
How great Your love is
How great Your love is
Then sings my soul
Then sings my soul
How great Your love is

And Heaven knows…..I love you so, dad!  

 

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