Journey Through Divorce

Written By: Alexis Hall

The holidays can be difficult after a major life change like divorce. If you are splitting custody of your children, you may find yourself alone during a time when you used to be together as a family. Facing the season post-divorce is bound to be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be miserable. With the right attitude and enough motivation, you can make the holidays a positive experience this year.

Be Honest with Yourself

There’s no need to be delusional in order to enjoy yourself. Instead of pretending everything is okay, be honest with yourself regarding whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to be sad when you feel sad and angry when you feel angry. Whatever you are feeling, acknowledge it and take care of yourself as needed. Dealing with negative emotions is imperative for your overall wellbeing. Ignoring them only allows for the opportunity to bubble back up and explode at inopportune moments.

Do Seasonal Things You Love

While you shouldn’t lie to yourself about how you feel, you can influence your state of mind by doing the things you know you enjoy. Whether that is binge watching your favorite holiday films, participating in winter sports, or going to a religious service, plan the kind of activities that make you feel good this season.

Get Some Sunshine

During the winter months, we tend to get less vitamin D since the days are shorter. Vitamin D deficiency is linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Symptoms of SAD include:

– Feelings of depression
– Lack of motivation
– Loss of appetite
– Lethargy
– Binging
– Feelings of hopelessness
– Difficulty concentrating
– Dark thoughts

To help combat Seasonal Affective Disorder, set aside some time every day to go outside and enjoy the sunlight. If your lifestyle does not allow for this, invest in a sunlamp that syndicates the light and helps boost vitamin D levels in the body.

Give Yourself a Gift

The thing about divorce is it provides the opportunity to get to know and love oneself again. Show yourself a little caring and appreciation and buy yourself a gift. Whether it’s something you have wanted for a long time or a spontaneous splurge, get yourself whatever you want. While physical possessions can’t make things better, the process of doing something especially for yourself can boost your mood.

Focus on Your Blessings

While it is easy to turn to negative thoughts during this time, try and keep your mind on the many blessings in your life. Enjoy the simple pleasures of our life and make time to spend with the people in your life. Be proactive in your happiness and practice gratitude in every step.

Take Care of Your Health – Physical and Mental

Your physical well being is connected to everything else in your life, so take care of it! Take time out of your day to enjoy some light exercise. Eat healthy, nutritious foods that leave you feeling satisfied and nourished. Your diet influences your mental health. Practice mindfulness throughout your day and incorporate meditation into your routine. All of these things are connected, so taking care of them will help you feel balanced throughout this difficult period.

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Going through the holidays after a divorce can be a difficult time. A good attitude and coping mechanisms can help make the time easier. Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to feel negative emotions. Do things you love that remind you of what you love about the holidays. Boost vitamin D levels with sunshine or substitute with a sun lamp. Spoil yourself with a gift and focus on the blessings you have in your life. Finally, take care of your health. The physical and mental go together, so when you take care of them you provide balance for your life.

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