Eternal Friend,

my sense of emptiness

threatens to swallow me up.

I am afraid of being alone,

of spending the remainder of my life

suspended in nothingness.

I feel separated

from all that formerly brought

connectedness and belonging.

This emptiness threatens

my relationship with you

for I no longer experience

the comfort of your presence.

In my rational thinking mind,

I believe you live in my heart

and will never leave me.

I recall moments

when all things seemed clear to me

and my heart sang

with the joy of union with you,

with others,

and with myself.

Now closeness

has all but disappeared.

Intimacy has given way

to isolation.

 

Jesus,

do not let my faith weaken

in these times

when everything seems so far away.

I meditate

on your experience with loneliness

in the garden of Gethsemane.

You were no stranger

to feelings of isolation

as you three times

begged your disciples to remain close to you

during your emotionally draining ordeal.

You graphically describe feelings

that mirror my own when you say,

“Wait here and keep awake with me”. (Matt. 26:38)

Your heart cried out for belonging

just as mine does.

Thus I believe you accompany me

through the lonely moments of my life

even when I fail to feel your closeness.

I rely not on my feelings of emptiness

to define our relationship.

I accept as truth

The words you speak to my heart,

“And I know that I am with you always;

yes, to the end of time”. (Matt. 28:20)