my sense of emptiness
threatens to swallow me up.
I am afraid of being alone,
of spending the remainder of my life
suspended in nothingness.
I feel separated
from all that formerly brought
connectedness and belonging.
This emptiness threatens
my relationship with you
for I no longer experience
the comfort of your presence.
In my rational thinking mind,
I believe you live in my heart
and will never leave me.
I recall moments
when all things seemed clear to me
and my heart sang
with the joy of union with you,
and with myself.
has all but disappeared.
Intimacy has given way
do not let my faith weaken
in these times
when everything seems so far away.
on your experience with loneliness
in the garden of Gethsemane.
You were no stranger
to feelings of isolation
as you three times
begged your disciples to remain close to you
during your emotionally draining ordeal.
You graphically describe feelings
that mirror my own when you say,
“Wait here and keep awake with me”. (Matt. 26:38)
Your heart cried out for belonging
just as mine does.
Thus I believe you accompany me
through the lonely moments of my life
even when I fail to feel your closeness.
I rely not on my feelings of emptiness
to define our relationship.
I accept as truth
The words you speak to my heart,
“And I know that I am with you always;
yes, to the end of time”. (Matt. 28:20)