It wasn’t too long ago when the chaos in my house was so loud you couldn’t escape it. Now today….it is so quiet you can’t find it. Children are on their own. The days when our mornings started early with getting everyone off to school and the days ended with sports, running, church, friends and trying to grab a moment to connect are a distant memory. All of a sudden the house is empty. Our oldest, my daughter, just celebrated her 6th year of marriage. Our son, my youngest, has been married for 3 years. Our middle daughter, my step daughter, has been living in Pennsylvania to attend a Masters Program for Physical Therapy. And our youngest, my step son, is preparing to marry his bride in short 3 months. As I sit here in the living room in front of the fireplace it causes me to reflect on years gone by.
As I look back I can’t help but wonder what I would have done differently. I have to be careful because if I choose to, and sometimes I do, I can feel a lot of regret. Not regret for how they have turned out, as they have all turned out to be great young adults. But regrets for missed opportunities, being too busy, and for making them one of the 60% who had to grow up in a broken home. Could I have been a better mom? Step mom? Sure, you bet! Ask each one of them and they would be the first to tell you areas where I failed them. But in the silence of the walls they remind me that I did the best that I knew, at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20. But honestly, if we all could live in hindsight would we really learn anything? Isn’t it through our choices, our trials that we learn to depend on God? If we knew all the answers before we make decisions, would we ever find ourselves on our knees seeking God to show us His way? Probably not.
So the next time I find myself stuck in the “should haves”, I need to extend myself a little grace and accept the good with the bad and enjoy the blessings of today. Sounds simpler than it is. God grant me the ability to keep my eyes fixed on you who knows my heart and loves me so much. I challenge you to do the same.