It wasn’t too long ago when the chaos in our house was so loud you couldn’t escape it. Now today….it is so quiet you can’t find it. Our last child, my step son, just left for college at Colorado Christian. All of a sudden the house is empty. Our oldest, my daughter, just celebrated her 2nd year of marriage. Our son, my youngest, graduated this spring from Northwestern College with a degree in Psychology and started his Grad Program at Bethel University. Our middle daughter, my step daughter, is in her 3rd year at Grove City College in Pennsylvania. A time like this brings reflection.
As I look back I can’t help but wonder what I would have done differently. I have to be careful because if I choose to, and sometimes I do, I can feel a lot of regret. Not regret for how they have turned out, as they have all turned out to be great young adults. But regrets for missed opportunities, being too busy, and for making them one of the 60% who had to grow up in a broken home. Could I have been a better mom? Step mom? Sure, you bet! Ask each one of them and they would be the first to tell you areas where I failed them. But in the silence of the walls they remind me that I did the best that I knew, at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20. But honestly, if we all could live in hindsight would we really learn anything? Isn’t it through our choices, our trials that we learn to depend on God? If we knew all the answers before we make decisions, would we find ourselves on our knees seeking God to show us His way? Probably not.
So the next time I find myself stuck in the “should haves”, I need to extend myself a little grace and accept the good with the bad and enjoy the blessings of today. Sounds simpler than it is. God grant me the ability to keep my eyes fixed on you who knows my heart and loves me so much.