Be the Adult.

Do not put your children in the place of your caretaker/counselor. Allow your children to be children. They are not made to carry your burdens. Find a friend to be your sounding board or advice giver. Don’t forget that your children are 50% your former spouses. Your children will take personally anything you say about your former spouse as if you are saying it about them as well.  Be the adult and allow them to be the children. Do not mix those roles. These are adult situations, leave them between adults. Below are some simple situations that should not happen.

  • Do not cry on their shoulders or use them as a punching bag.
  • Don’t bring your children into heated conversations between you and your former spouse. They should not even know what the issues between you two are.
  • Be the parent and make decisions based on what is best for them. Don’t force them to have to choose between either one of you or time spent with either one of you. Make those decisions as co-parents and present them to your children as a unified front.
  • Keep your children out of your personal dating life and decisions. Don’t continuously bring different people in and out of their lives. Keep your dating to yourself until it becomes serious and you are ready to commit to the relationship.
  • Find another adult friend to confide in, bounce ideas with and vent to. Do not take your frustrations out on your children.
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