September 16, 2016 · by

Setting Boundaries-Journey Through Divorce

Have a Strategic Plan

Boundaries Are Strategic

Businesses have strategic plans. A strategic plan is a deliberate and intentional plan for each step of a business or endeavor. I find that women are more likely to go through life letting things happen to them than they are making intentional plans. As I look back I must admit that I lived through most of my life in default mode. I just took life as it came, almost thinking I had no choices.

I encourage you to take charge of your own life, to make a plan, to set goals. And to definitely set boundaries.

Boundaries are beneficial for you and your family. Boundaries build a stable home. Boundaries create a healthy emotional environment.

Imagine a home in which there were no boundaries.

  • Children could eat anything at any time.
  • There was no bedtime.
  • No rules regarding each other’s privacy.
  • Money belonged to whoever took it.
  • It didn’t matter how you spoke to one another.
  • If a person felt like hitting another family member they could.

Well you get the idea. There are boundaries of all sorts in our society. And they are for our good. They are not walls to keep people out. They are simply restrictions we choose to implement to keep our lives civil and to keep us well balanced.

What are sensible boundaries? There are so many I can only address a few here.

Issues regarding your personal life.

  1. You have the right to keep personal things, personal. Meaning you are not obligated to answer questions, even from your mother, if you feel they are overstepping a boundary.
  2. Your home is your domain-if you are paying for it. You determine who enters, sleeps, or eats there.
  3. Your business is just that-your business. Unless you ask for advice, you are not in anyway obligated to share it. We are all familiar with the phrase, “It’s none of your business.” It may sound rude, but so is the person asking the nosey question.
  4. Your money is yours to spend as you see fit, as long as you are earning it and don’t owe others. You own it.
  5. You are not responsible for others’ financial decisions. Parents often get caught with this one. We want what is best for our children so too often we rescue them from their poor choices. Once in a while this could be necessary. Most of the time we are enabling them and doing them no favors.

Back to Strategic Planning – having a plan is usually a good thing. It helps to avoid unpleasant surprises and gives you something to work towards. To have a good plan you must first have a goal or goals. Your goal is the end result of your efforts. It is what you want to achieve. A degree from college would be a goal.

Once you’ve set a goal your next step is to write out the steps required to achieve that goal. This is just one of the things I do with the women I coach. I will share about goal setting in the next post.

For now concentrate on setting boundaries in your life.