Dealing with your former spouse can be difficult. It can be exhausting. It can be very overwhelming. It can even feel useless at times. I liken it to being on a continual battlefield with arrows coming from all directions, not knowing which war you’re going to have to fight next.  Sometimes it may feel like you are constantly watching for incoming bombs and arming yourself for a quick counter attack.

As difficult as this may be I would like you to consider a different battlefield. A spiritual battle between good and evil.  Satan’s #1 goal is to destroy families. And whether you are still married or not, if you share children, you are still a family. I would challenge you to consider that much of what you are dealing with may be Satan’s way of continuously bringing you down, causing continual hurt and stress on your children and definitely preventing you from healing and moving forward.

I have recently been reading a book called Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. It has really awakened my awareness of the power of prayer and the constant battle that I need to fight everyday to keep the enemies’ (Satan’s) hands off of my life, my family, and my loved ones. Listen to how she describes what Satan’s goal is for your family.


If I were your enemy, I’d seek to disintegrate your family and destroy every member of it. I’d want to tear away at your trust and turn everyone’s feelings inward on themselves. I would bring dissension, disunity, infuse tension and unravel a sense of peace and fuel all kinds of confusion and misunderstandings. And I would not stop until I have accomplished my goal, a broken dysfunctional family.

We need to recognize that Satan is our enemy and he specifically targets families to destroy not only our families but families for generations to come.  It is up to us to pray daily for God to protect our families from his tricks and temptations.  We need to guard ourselves from falling into the trap of making the battles about us instead of seeing they are truly from Satan himself.

One way we can do this is by praying for our former spouse. Even when they hit those triggers and we feel our blood pressure rising, we need to train our minds to stop and pray first.  The only way to see the real truth behind what is happening is to pray. Prayer is how we get behind those triggers and attack them at their roots. It’s how we isolate the real enemy, Satan himself. Pray against his attempts to destroy what you are desperately trying to heal. Pray for God to intervene and then leave the battle in His hands to bring resolution and understanding in a peaceful way. Stand up against the natural ways of the world by bending your knees and asking God to be your defender.

It is also through prayer that allows God to work on our own hearts, revealing to us areas where we are allowing Satan to get ahold of our emotions and defenses. By humbling ourselves to God He is able to teach us how we can be a better example for our children and defuse future battles from starting.

I know this is usually easier said than done but I hope I have challenged you today, as I too am challenged, to rise up and fight the deceiver and bring our families to the foot of the cross daily to pray for protection over things that are out to destroy us.

In this battle together,