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Getting other peoples’ advice is often risky.  Everyone seems to have something to share. In this next Top 10 we will look at the importance of choosing wise counsel.


When we are hurting, finding the right people to surround us is very important. If we surround ourselves with negative people, we will see things negatively. The power of a positive influence is immeasurable.  Here are some simple suggestions that may help-

  1. Find people who have experienced a separation or divorce before. You will find that these people will have invaluable information to share with you. Because they have experienced a similar journey, it is possible for them to help prevent you from falling into some potholes along the way.
  1. You may have to pick your friends very carefully at first. Friends that may have been friends with you as a couple may not be the best people to reach out to for advice right now. They won’t mean to give you wrong advice; it is a very difficult situation for them as well.  They will naturally feel in the middle. Try to eliminate those friends as people you would reach out to when seeking advice on how to handle certain situations.  Be careful not to judge them if it seems they are picking sides. In most cases they do not want to, so don’t do or say anything to make them.
  1. My suggestion for the best place to seek wise counsel is at the church. Find a person who is real and understanding and is not too afraid to call it like it is. A pastor is always good to talk to or a fellow DivorceCare facilitator or attendee.  A Godly man or woman will give you the most sound advice available.  Look for this like a needle in a haystack.  It will make the biggest difference as you walk this journey.

And remember, we are here should you need us.  You are welcome to join a discussion forum or request a one-on-one conference with me.  Click here to see current membership levels.

We will continue our discussion of things to do in #9.

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