Divorce Do’s and Don’ts
This is an extremely turbulent and emotional time. As such, you may find yourself thinking and doing things that you would not normally do. The most devoted of parents have been known to put their children in the middle.
This is a list of things that under normal circumstances most people never do. If you can follow these guidelines, you will find that you behaved in a mature rational way. Not only can you be proud but also you will find that things will be better in the long run.
DON’T put your children in the middle of your divorce. The divorce is between you and your spouse. The children are innocent victims.
DO show them the love and attention they deserve. Make sure that they know they are not the reason for the divorce.
DON’T put your spouse down in front of the children.
DO show respect towards your spouse in front of the children. If you can’t do that then do not say anything at all. It will only come back to haunt you as well as send the wrong message to the children.
DON’T depend upon your memory.
DO document everything that you might think will be important later on. Also keep a journal of important dates and events.
DON’T pay your child support late.
DO pay it on time. Not only will you avoid legal ramifications, you are also supporting your children. The money goes toward the rent/mortgage, food, clothes, utilities, and other necessities.
DON’T let the children guess when they are supposed to be with you.
DO keep a calendar for the children as to the regular visitation and special visitation such as holidays and vacations.
DON’T make your children feel like a “guest” in your new home.
DO make the children feel that your new home is also their home. That should include whatever chores they were responsible for at your prior home they should also be responsible for at your new home.
DON’T rehash the things that have happened in the past, you can’t change what has already really happened.
DO Learn from those things, fix what you can and then let them go.
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